Tech News on G4
'Clash' just crap
Sept 2, 2010
By John Powell - G4 Canada
Putting 'Clash of the Titans' in your video game console is like agreeing to participate a staring contest against Medusa.
You are going to lose and lose very, very badly.
As Zeus's demigod son - Perseus - in the game, life in your docile fishing village takes a nasty turn when your parents are slain by the god of the underworld, Hades. As you seek revenge for the dastardly deed, you trudge through maps solidly on rails (as there is no place else to go) from one open battle to another slicing or hammering through skeletons, flying eyeballs and all sorts of bizarre creatures who have no place in real Greek mythology.
'Clash' showcases your standard hack-and-slash combat system with weak, strong and special attacks. The choice really is unnecessary because your primary attack is sufficient to annihilate the hordes of ill-trained and ill-equipped foes who are easily confused and defeated.
The special attacks result in quick time events where timed button presses kill your enemies. Once you have witnessed the same finishing move cut-scene a few hundred times though your desire to continue on your quest becomes about as enticing as hanging out with the comatose cast of 'Big Brother 12'. Oh, yeah. Easily. The. Worst. Season. Ever.
Boss battles do reflect the myths accurately but the chimeras, centaurs and evil spectre-mage thingies are easily dispatched without so much as a whimper or a groan.
How do you discover these creature quests you may ask? You talk to people and have to suffer through their pointless and sadistic conversations before being instructed where the heck to go. There really is no exploration though. You trudge through one dull, empty area after another.
Want to share the pain with a friend? Well, it ain’t that easy, which might actually be a good thing as you may not want to subject your friends to the crapfest that is 'Clash'. To unlock the cooperative quests you must play through hours of the game and even when you do so, not every quest has the co-op option. On top of that, just to twist that blade in just a little deeper, the camera in cooperative play is about as steady as a Chihuahua who has been force fed caffeine pills, making the mode almost impossible to play properly even if you wanted to.
With both of the classic movies and the myths themselves to draw upon, disappointing barely covers how awful 'Clash' is. It is a bargain basement version of 'God of War' without any unique thoughts or concepts to call its own. It is just a recycled mess of hack-and-slash adventure games that repeats and repeats itself into complete oblivion.
'Clash' is the worst thing a video game can be…categorically boring. It looks like crap. It plays like crap. It is crap.
'Clash of the Titans'
Rating: 2 / 10
About G4 in Canada
G4 Canada (formerly TechTV Canada) launched in September 2001. G4 is the one and only television station that is plugged into every dimension of games, gear, gadgets and gigabytes. Owned Rogers Media Inc., the channel airs more than 24 original series. G4 is available on digital cable and satellite. For more information, see www.g4tv.ca.