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Dark sucks

Aug 7, 2013

By John Powell - G4 Canada

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DarkIf one had to make a cinematic comparison, ‘Dark’ is the ‘Vampire in Brooklyn’ of bloodsucker titles. Just like Eddie Murphy miserably failing at his best Christopher Lee impression, ‘Dark’ is ruined by its own dreadful production, uninspired level development and ghastly gameplay.

As Eric Bane, a newly turned vampire, you are adapting to your new lifestyle, which apparently includes hanging out at the traditional vampire meeting place: a night club, of course. Learning the ropes and how to control your new powers, you accept missions based on information you’ve gathered from the vampire hierarchy stationed at the club.

Dark And so begins a thoroughly monotonous adventure that borrows badly from every stealth-action game you have ever played. In different adaptions of basically the same setting, you will sneak around heavily guarded areas taking out targets as you avoid broken glass, motion-sensors and other obstacles that will easily alert said targets. 

You must rely on your clumsily delayed, awkward punch or your stealth attacks to keep you safe as in this peculiar twist on vampire mythology, regular bullets can and will kill you. Go figure.
Although the developers play unfair by respawning targets you have already taken down and creating guards who are cemented to their posts thereby guaranteeing you will be spotted, once you have mastered the Shadow Leap, you can just soar past the goon squads without raising any suspicion at all. Because of the imbalance between the blundering AI’s skills and the abilities you unlock, ‘Dark’ becomes easier the longer you play and not much of a challenge.

Dark The final nails in the coffin are the frightfully terrible audio and video problems. The voice acting and the gibberish the talent speak are about as convincing as Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. Half the time, it sounds as if they are just robotically reading the lines from a teleprompter. No feeling. No emotion. No impact at all. 

Dark’s cel-shaded graphics don’t look kitschy as they do in ‘Borderlands’, ‘Crackdown’ or ‘Jet Set Radio’ either.  Coupled with the lousy audio, the graphics make the game look cheap, rushed and unfinished. 

Dark’s only saving grace is that some of those vampire powers are mighty cool. It is just a shame they are wasted in such an awful game. 
Someone give Dr. Van Helsing a call. ‘Dark’ needs to be staked and put out of its misery.

Dark Dark
Format: Xbox 360
Publisher: Kalypso.
Developer: Realmforge
ESRB Rating: M for Mature
Official Site:

Rating: 3 / 10

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G4 Canada (formerly TechTV Canada) launched in September 2001. G4 is the one and only television station that is plugged into every dimension of games, gear, gadgets and gigabytes. Owned Rogers Media Inc., the channel airs more than 24 original series. G4 is available on digital cable and satellite. For more information, see